I realize that I tend to get close to people too fast, that I try to accelerate connections and bonds of friendship and fellowship that as a result impede and sometimes obliterate what feelings there may have been to begin with.  I don’t exactly have a history of having reliable friends, from grade school on.

So.  I’ve decided that I’m just going to take things as they are and as they come.  I will try my best to have faith in my friends and hopefully they will have the same towards me.  This does not relate to just feelings of friendship, though, but also truth and honesty.  I love my friends, sometimes I screw up, and sometimes they screw up.  I don’t want to be perfect - I want to be me.  And I am, slowly but surely, returning to my pre-engagement self.  I just need time and patience.

Onto another topic - I don’t want to go to the therapist.  It’s not cowardice, or worry, but a sense of not feeling comfortable about the whole affair.  I would rather try and see if this positive outlook lasts than go headfirst into things I’m trying to work past.